Joy in Birthing

Why is it important to play with your newborn baby?

by Giuditta Tornetta from her upcoming book BABY RIGHT

The science and wonder of it…

Our brain is made up of building blocks (neurons). These blocks must be connected together in order to work. Your baby makes trillions of connections before birth, this is why she can breathe, hear, suck and cry! Plus she has learned your language, she has felt your feelings towards people, places and things, and she has assimilated some of your memories. Concepts such as trust, peace, conflict resolution, and self-esteem will be learned as she grows up. A positive outcome will only happen if your baby makes the right kind of connections as she develops. This is where our role as parents comes into the picture. We need to give our newborns the right kind of stimulation so they can develop these connections and therefore develop the right skills they need in life.

As parents when we begin to play with our newborn, we finally perceive her as equal, capable to understand, imitate, react, and learn. Playing will encourage us to speak to our child in complete and intelligent sentences, vs. baby talk, becoming conscious of their presence as a sentient being, who we need, not only talk to, but patiently listen to. When our eyes looked into each other, as we play these games, we’ll also explore the world of non-verbal communication. You’ll show your baby how interested you are in them as people, not simply someone who, for now, only needs you to feed, change, burp, or rock to sleep. There is no need for you to learn a ‘baby language,’ we know babies know your language and respond to it in utero.

All the experiences you give your baby will connect their building blocks. Whether it is a walk in the park, a smell of an orange or a look at a tongue for the first time, they all help develop their tiny brain. Building blocks that are continuously stimulated form stronger connections. For example a young child often likes to repeat certain actions, like climbing up steps. The more he practices the better he climbs, and the stronger the connection between the building blocks in the brain becomes.

Her are some fun games you can play with your newborn baby:

Imitation

When baby is looking intently at you, move your head slowly from side to side. Open and close your mouth, or protrude your tongue and smile. Baby will often move his entire body, but eventually he will imitate, to your delight. Do this again and again. Repetition is so comforting to children and is also how they learn. Talk to her about what you’re doing. Tell her how much you love her. Repeat words and say her name. Remember a baby gets tired very quickly so if he does not respond right away or looks off to the side, it means it is time to rest. A Great video that shows how to play this and more games is called Your Amazing New Born by Marshall H. Klaus, Phyllis H. Klaus

Vision Games

A newborn baby can see clearly what is at about 10-12 inches from his/her face (precisely breast to mom’s eye.) Help your infant to use her eyes through moving an object in front of her eyes. Dr. Brazelton, in his research to “understand key concepts about newborn behavior,” uses a red ball or clown nose for the baby to follow. Do the activity slowly; moving the object too fast makes your baby confused.

Introducing baby’s first toy:

Sit close to your baby; shake a baby rattle in front of her. Look surprised and laugh and shake the rattle again. Gently tap on your baby’s tummy. This will make her smile.

Sing along:

This is my personal favorite, maybe because my mother was an opera singer. I love singing to my babies all the time. Songs are gentle ways to bring peace, and joy into your and your baby’s time. When you are feeding, changing the diaper, while bathing, etc, you can sing based on the moment. Usually babies love to listen to the music. Play any of your favorite tunes and sing along with them. Introduce your infant to nursery rhymes and lullabies. Gently rock your infant while you are singing and looking into her eyes. If you have made up a sing while you were pregnant, including the baby’s name, sing it often to her and she’ll remember and be very soothed by it.

Babies love mobiles:

I always thought that trees make the best mobiles, and you’ll be surprised how quickly a baby calms down once you bring him outdoors. In cold weather over the bed mobiles are also great, especially those who make noise. Place your baby on his tummy and crank up the mobile, don’t leave him alone, simply stay with him and rejoice with him at this new toy. As he grows he will learn he can stay there awhile, on his own reveling at the toy, while self-soothing.

Frog Kick

Your pediatrician will tell you to spend some quality tummy time with your baby. This is a great time to play frog kick. First introduce tummy time to your newborn gently, start by placing him on his tummy on your chest, and slowly move her to the flat surface. When she is comfortable in tummy time, you’ll notice that she tries to move forward with her feet. Gently place the palms of your hand on her feet and help her frog kick forward. I love seeing both mom and dad play this game where dad helps baby go towards mom and mom encourages the little kicker.

Conversation time

It’s never too early to talk to your baby. First and foremost make sure you tell your baby every thing that you are doing with him or to him. For example tell him you are going to change his diapers, tell him how you are going to put his little right arm through the sleeve, etc. This not only is respectful as you are literally doing something to him, but also keeps you focusing on beginning an eye-to-eye relationship. It is very important to speak to your baby right out of the womb. He has gone from a cozy, dark, and familiar place, to a bright room filled with ‘stranger.’ If you have your baby at the hospital you’ll get an eager nurse to rub him to encourage him to breathe. Of course it is important for your baby to breathe and express himself (cry) but too often we rush them into it. Once he is resting on your chest encourage him to express himself, for example you could simply say “Hello, my love tell me how was the birth for you? Let me hear your voice.” Empathize, this will serve two purposes: one he will cry but you’ll see the quality of the cry will be different, gentler, two you will allow him to hear your very familiar voice, and most importantly you’ll get used to his way of communicating. Crying does not always mean I am angry, hungry, sick or tired. It also means… I am here talk to me.

Looking, listening, feeling

Use the baby gym and objects in her crib or pram to talk to your baby. Describe everything she can see. Point to things, let her feel them and try to hold them. She’ll begin to use her hands and feet a bit more to express emotion. Let her look at her hands. Stroke them, tickle them, kiss them and start to play “round and round the garden, like a teddy bear”! Let’s not forget “this little piggy” either. At diaper change, hold her feet up in the air and do the same. At bath time you can sing “this is the way we wash our feet” and so on. After the bath you can clap her hands together and her feet too, and blow some raspberries on her tummy.

It’s easy to imagine that they are in a world of their own, not paying much attention to you – apart from when they want their feed. As a hypnotherapist, I spend a lot of time with clients trying to go back to this very time in their lives, to learn why certain behaviors are instinctual, unconscious, and spontaneous. Zero (or more precisely -9) to 3 are perhaps the most formative years when it comes to learning, trust, self-confidence, peace, and independence.

The most important thing you can do is have fun with your baby and enjoy watching her grow. . Babies, newborns are little human beings filled with wonder, eager to learn.