Joy in Birthing

Excerpt from Painless Childbirth

Every book I have ever read on labor stresses the need for preparation. Unanimously, professional on both side of the fence (medical solution to pain-management and those who suggest a more natural approach) preach the importance of informed decisions. Fact is we do not know why women feel what they feel during labor and delivery, nor why some women feel more, some less.

Consciousness, self-knowledge and an understanding of what to expect all contribute to an easier and joyful experience.

Finally in one of the latest books on labor I picked up I saw the following quote; “Did you know? Only 1 percent of women report experiencing no pain during childbirth.” (Easy Labor by William Camann, MD and Kathryn J. Alexander, MA.)  I was so excited at this quote, because it means different things depending on how you look at it (is the glass half empty or half full? But more importantly look there is a glass!) In this declaration what I’d take away would be the word “only” and I’d place a big Yeah!  One percent of women do indeed experience a painless childbirth, as all statistics one percent can be raised to whatever number human can extend themselves to.  The fact that doctors had noticed that we (the painless child birthing women) existed really gave me hope.  In United States there are around four million of births each year so according to the above mentioned study as many as 40,000 women do experience a painless childbirth!  Why not you!

There are three key words that coincide with the three stages of labor: distraction in early labor, concentration in active labor and surrender during transition. Then we combine purposeful action and concentration during the pushing phase and exhaustion, elation and ecstasy as you hold the fruit of your loins.

Early labor

It can start many hours before the actual birth; it can be as short as a few hours or can last days.  Often in these hours we get so wrapped up in our desire to hold the baby in our arms that we can easily become discouraged and often exhausted because of the long wait.    In the early part of labor we try to distract ourselves, that is being distracted from the sensations that our body is feeling. So in early labor, we go on walks, watch a funny movie, listen to music, dance, cook some yummy food, finish up a small project (like a photo album or the crib in the baby’s nursery,) call on some friends any activity we can conjure up not to focus on what is to come.  The point is to distract our selves from looking at the watch and expect something to happen according to a time schedule.

Caution: Many women as soon as they feel the early signs of labor run to the hospital expecting that once there something is going to happen.  The only thing that will happen if you go to the hospital too soon is either they will send you home, or they’ll talk you into getting induced. Best is to make peace with the fact that there might be a long day ahead of you and that, if you have prepared for this, you will have already thought of several activities you will do during this wonderful part of labor. This is great time for bonding with your partner and spend one last day as a couple, before you become a triumvirate.  I remember I spend the early part of my labor with my first son, cleaning up my home, creating a birthing altar, choosing music for the birth and eating foods that reminded me of my home in Italy.  With my daughter I slept during most of early labor, which is another way to distract oneself.

Active Labor

When the labor comes on strong in the active phase, the contractions have a different quality to their rhythm and we need to concentrate on managing the waves one at the time one minute at the time.  Many of my clients find it very useful to have their partner remind them where in the minute they are, as a work out coach would do at the gym.  Something like “You are at fifteen second, doing good. Thirty seconds you are half way there.  Forty-five seconds you are almost done.  That’s it almost done, almost done.”  It is very important that the coach does not announce when he/she thinks the contraction is done and arbitrarily abandons the laboring mom.  The coach allows the mom to let him know when she is ready to be on her own. Coaches should not concentrate on a precision time watch, but rather focus in supporting the mommy-to-be physically and emotionally.  It is very helpful during this phase that the mom continues walking a bit, change position frequently, take a warm bath or shower and keeps hydrated.  With the help of hypnosis I have had several clients able to actually take little naps during all phases of labor.  This obviously is very important as at times these phases last a long time and women get easily exhausted.  I suggest you either purchase our “Painless Childbirth” CD which will help you nap and relax as exhaustion is the number one cause for giving up and asking for pain killers once at the hospital.

Transition

Finally the stage called transition comes on with its strong waves and little time in between.  This phase can be the most challenging one but the good news is that it can also be the quickest one.  This is the time to surrender.  The coach here best spends his/her time reminding the woman of the time in between contraction so that she realizes she has some respite.  We encourage her to take advantage of this time and relax completely and even close her eyes and try to rest.  Many women cannot lie down during transition, but relaxing does not have to be in a reclining position.  We can use our coaches and doulas, our family members to hold our body as we let go and relax in their steady arms. Often I will coach a woman to breathe deeply and say “Yes and AHHH” as she exhale, this declaration of surrender works opposite of her desire to tense up, fight against the contractions and say “Oh No!”

Here we remind her often of the outcome, the baby that is working hard to come into this world and we even address the baby directly with words of encouragement, and compassion for all the work that he is doing.  It is important to keep the mom related to the baby; there is nothing a mother will not do for her child if she can envision the bay working hard and trying hard as well.  Many of you who have gone through this phase might be furrowing your eye brows and thinking that as you recall it is simply impossible to surrender at this stage.   Yet surrender is what is required.  By now you have distracted yourself from the contraction, managed and concentrated it on them enough to know how to surrender to them. Now it is time to let them take over your body and yield into them one at the time.  Often when clients say “I can’t take it any longer,” usually it indicates that the baby is very close to coming.  At this juncture we usually ask that the midwife, nurse or physician check the cervix and we often find out that it is dilated to seven or more centimeters, (complete dilation is ten centimeters) and the delivery is around the corner. At the news we rejoice and renew our confidence in the natural state of things.  How often you have fretted for some outcome till the proverbial eleventh hour and then it all got resolved.  In labor this phase is your “eleventh hour” and this is the time to gather your strength and forge forward. That’s why I encourage you to surrender to your body sensations and take charge of  the work that is at hand, visualize each contraction opening up your cervix more and more.  I also suggest you close your eyes and really focus on the time in between contraction, the time when you can recharge, and visualize your baby and you pushing together a heavy door to get to the other side.  The more you imagine your baby working hard the more you’ll be willing to stick with it and help him through that door.

A word of wisdom: not all births are the same, not all women progress at the same level or time.  I have had clients who said they could not take it anymore and they were dilated to only three or four centimeters and others that never showed great distress yet they were at eight and nine centimeters of dilation.  The more you prepare yourself to managing one minute at the time, letting go of what will come, what you have heard from friends about labor, and what you fear, the more you will be able to handle your labor.  Yet, we cannot exclude the possibility that there are physical reasons for painful labor such as the baby’s position, your body’s structure etc.  How can we then claim to be able to have a painless childbirth if one of these factors is at play during your labor?  Once again let me explain what I mean by painless:  pain is something that happens when there is something wrong, unnatural like an illness, or a broken leg. What you are experiencing is the sensations that all women have during childbirth and the outcome is a happy, lovely baby suckling at your breasts.  So if something is ‘wrong’ like the baby’s position or in our physical presentation then I encourage you to make informed decisions on the way to implement a birth for your child, whether you need some help, or medication or even a cesarean birth and do it from a painless state of being –that is a guilt-free, rancor-free, and resentment-free.  All that happens is perfect we might not understand it at first, but we embrace it as a life lesson that was given to us for a specific sacred purpose.

During labor some clients choose to pray. At times prayer have been seen as actions we take in desperate situation, thus some of us rather not pray during labor for we feel that if we do it is either because something has gone wrong or may go wrong we don’t want to jinks it! Be as it may, I love to bring God in every action and situation in my life both dire and happy, for in my prayer I declare how grateful I am for I trust that the outcome I desire as already being manifested here and now.