Joy in Birthing

Now that you’re pregnant, all the attention has shifted to you. Some people may feel left behind. Your husband is probably one of these people. He feels the weight of the responsibility, but lost the attention he once received.

What about the rest of your children? They hear all the excitement about this new baby, and are no longer the center- of- attention. This can be frightening, when you are little or big! Bringing home a new baby is a joyful experience, but it has its challenges, particularly for siblings and even your pets. Young children may feel “replaced” by the new baby. Pets don’t understand who this tiny creature is that is getting all the attention. Here are some tips on how to create a welcoming environment for the new baby, while helping everybody adjust.

Your Significant Other:

Words do help a great deal, yet, actions speak louder than words…take extra time to show the people around you, your true love for them. Praise your husband daily for something he has done. Write him a note, and place it somewhere where he can find it when he is alone. Tell him how extraordinary he is, and how he will remain important in your life. Once the baby comes home, try to arrange a romantic date at least once every two weeks. A nice walk, or a candle lit dinner, can make a huge difference in your relationship.

Your Children:

Write a note to your child and tell them how special they are to you. If they cannot read yet, draw a picture on a piece of paper with a phrase like “you are special to me” and put it somewhere they can find it. We are all sticklers for something in writing.

If you are birthing at the hospital, bring your children to visit “mommy and baby” as soon as possible. This will make your child feel included, and not “left out” or “abandoned” with a baby sitter or a relative.

Include your child in all baby care activities. Teach your child to help changing diapers, and let them help you bathe the baby. This will help to establish a connection between the two siblings.

Make sure you schedule exclusive “mommy-time” with your older children, so they feel you still have time for them. This is perhaps the most important action you can take to restore self-confidence and self-importance to your children.

Remember to tell your little one that the baby is speaking a different language, it will sound like baby is crying, but explain that baby is really talking.  Toddles especially interpret crying as distress by default they’ll experience distress when the baby cries. It helps when baby comes home and begins crying to play a voice over/subtitle pretend interpretation of what baby is saying.  Something like “Wehh wheee” baby says but what he really means is “I am hungry over here where is my milk?”  Make it fun so that your toddler can become the official baby interpreter so that the tension is dissipated and the baby does not seem so strange and foreign.

Your Pets:

Allow your pet to familiarize itself with the baby’s scent before you bring the baby home, it will be less curious about the new creature.
If your dog or cat comes over to you while you are holding the baby, pet them, so they know not to feel jealous of the new baby. Pets are supersensitive; and can feel withdrawn and jealous if you ignore them.

You:

Don’t forget about yourself either! Spend quality time alone, soaking in a hot bath, reading your favorite book, or chat with a friend…while someone else takes care of everything!